A Collection Better Than Stamps But Not As Good As Locks Of Hair

Not a new blog, just a collection of a few of my recent favorites from the TV Clean category.  Hey, if you want a new blog every day, pay me.  No really, hire me on staff and pay me.  $2,000,000 per year and I'll do the daily giggle thing in your living room if you want.  If you ask politely and in proper English, I may even wear pants.

As always, see more of me including TV appearances, acting reel, comedy promo videos, schedule and more on my website at www.starspangledcomedy.com.

...and now, The Far Side Calendar 1987 (Name Copyright Pending)...

A Los Angeles couple was arrested on charges of arranging more than twenty fake marriages. Amazingly, only twelve of those marriages involved Larry King.

A recent study shows that male mice exposed to the chemical BPA - commonly found in canned food - tended to act more like females.  So mothers, if you see your son wearing Capri pants, cut back on the canned soup.  OR Apparently enough BPA can make males buy irrational amounts of shoes.

Luxury jeweler Bulgari has been purchased in a $5.19 billion deal.  From the prices I’ve seen, that’ll buy about six of their watches.

Consumer Reports Magazine release a poll saying that 63% of drivers under the age of thirty admitted to driving while being on the phone.  As for the other 37%, pollsters just kept getting a busy signal.

A new study says Hawaii is the happiest state in the Union.  The least happy?  Whatever state you return to after vacationing in Hawaii.

The Massachusetts Department of Education found large amounts of food more than six months past its expiration date in public school cafeterias.  The main problem appears to be that  the lunchrooms are run by public school graduates, who simply couldn’t read the dates.

The FBI announced recently that Friday is the most popular day for bank robberies. Immediately afterwards, bank tellers everywhere programmed their smartphones with the reminder “Call off sick Friday.”

City Council members in NYC announced they’re considering a ban of fast food toys.  Good.  Now the city’s completely safe.

Billy Joel has cancelled the memoir he was planning to write.  Apparently his ghost writer Davey is still in the Navy and probably will be for life.

Scientists say that a study using deep-water cameras has revealed how and where tiny ocean animals called Krill have sex.  The study also reveals that apparently, a lot of  scientists need to get a girlfriend.