Sunday, June 5, 2011

Paul Revere And The World's Most Famous Rack

Seriously Hollywood, that’s the best crap you can put on TV?
As always, see more of me including TV appearances, acting reel, comedy promo videos, schedule and more on my website at
...joke me to the moon...
Hundreds of marchers rallied in Chicago and Los Angeles on Saturday for the "SlutWalk" movement aimed at dispelling the notion that a sexual assault victim's provocative dress could be responsible for an attack.  Ironically, most of the protesters hooked up that night, and could be seen doing the strikingly similar “Walk Of Shame” Sunday morning.
Protesters in Yemen danced, sang and slaughtered cows in a central square celebration this week.  Next week, fans in either Dallas or Miami will upstage them by overturning cars and looting electronics to celebrate their team winning the NBA title.  Yemeni’s are amateurs.
Seismologists in Italy are currently on trial for manslaughter, from not predicting an earthquake in 2009.  Hollywood is watching this trial closely, as it could set a precedent for suing the people who booked Kirstie Alley on Dancing With The Stars.
A new study shows that the bank who historically do the most Congressional lobbying received the biggest bailouts during the financial crisis.  In other shocking news that no one could possibly have anticipated, a professional athlete was arrested for something stupid, and the sun rose in the east.
Sarah Palin insists she “didn’t mess up” the story of Paul Revere recently.  She went on to say that his famous ride happened “Right after he drafted The Star Spangled Banner.”  OR Hearing this, Oliver Stone said “Yeah, and  ‘JFK‘ was historically accurate, too.”  OR  In a related story,  LeBron James insists that there was no premature celebration in Game 2, and that’s he not a selfish, spoiled bitch.
Dolly Parton has opened a dinner theater show called “Pirates Voyage” in South Carolina.  This will be the first time audience members at a Dolly Parton show will be concentrating on the Booty.
Officials in Germany say that beansprouts are likely the cause of the recent E-Coli outbreak.  Reason #2,000,006 why sprouts and health food suck.

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