Sheen’s kids are getting $55,000 a month in child support. Man, I sure wish MY Dad had been a batshit crazy coke fiend.
As always, see more of me including TV appearances, acting reel, comedy promo videos, schedule and more on my website at www.starspangledcomedy.com.
...jokes from the really big shoe....
At the "Egalia" preschool, staff avoid using gender-specific words like "him" or "her" and address the thirty-three kids as "friends" rather than girls and boys. MGM Resorts in Las Vegas has installed these kids as the early favorites for “Serial Killers Of The Year” in 2029. OR Ladies and gentlemen, your next cast of “Hair!”
Scientists this week discovered a species of “inflatable” shark near the ocean floor. Amazingly, there are already fifteen adult websites using this as a sexual fetish.
Attorneys say that Mel Gibsons divorce is nearly complete. Just a few more t’s to cross and eyes to punch.
A Senate panel voted to OK continued US military operations in Libya today. Asking for anonymity, one Senator said “Hey, anything to distract people from finding all of our tweeted penis pictures.”
A tax standoff in Congress has blocked any progress towards resolving the US debt crisis. Apparently, Democrats and Republicans can’t agree on whether or not to allow the middle class to lube up first.
A recent study shows that male mice exposed to the chemical BPA - commonly found in canned food - tended to act more like females. Apparently enough BPA can make males buy irrational amounts of shoes. Hey, perhaps “too much BPA” explains all of those men in Capri pants?
Newsweek has published a computer generated image of what they believe Princess Di would have been like today at age fifty. The verdict: Still out of Chuck’s league, and wondering why he married a trotter after her death.