Two days of travel have left me in a ragged state. Ragged and rugged. Just the way the chicks dig it. So chicks, start diggin’ me.
Another short writing day today. Whet your whistles, campers.
As always, see more of me including TV appearances, promo video and schedule at www.starspangledcomedy.com.
... we’ll joke a cup of kindness yet, for Auld lang Syne ...
A man in South Carolina was hit by an SUV while playing a real-life version of the video game "Frogger." Police say it’s lucky he wasn’t playing Mortal Kombat, or when they arrived they’d have FINISHED HIM. OR Police say the man was despondent after his wife told him she was tired of getting in bed with him and playing “Centipede.”
California Governor-elect Jerry Brown says he is “playing hardball” on the state budget. He later ate a special brownie and said he was also playing Wheel Of Fortune on state Medicare, and Card Sharks on union benefits.
Analysts say the blizzard in the Northeast this weekend postponed about $1 billion in holiday retail sales by keeping shoppers out of stores in the days after Christmas. It also postponed over 10 billion pointless, pseudo-intellectual conversations by keeping self-aggrandizing douche bags in porkpie hats out of Starbucks.
Recent polling shows that members of the Baby Boom generation fear they will outlive Medicare. The poll also shows that members of every other generation are more than willing to help Baby Boomers die quicker.
President Obama said he believes Michael Vick deserved his second chance. He then said “Oh, and uh...I have some news about Beau....”
The Alaska governor's office says it needs until May 31 to release thousands of e-mails sent and received by former Gov. Sarah Palin. Mostly they need to delete all of the requests from guys for sexy pictures ... and the follow-ups from those guys saying “No, not of Bristol!”
President Obama is blaming a weeklong delay in releasing his 2012 budget proposal on a hold placed on his nominee for budget director. In a completely unrelated story, the President spent the past two days golfing and snorkeling in Hawaii.
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