Last day at home + needed trip to the grocery store + lunch with an old friend + child in volleyball practice + yet another court hearing involving a library and no pants = short joke blog today. I like to think my unpredictability is what arouses my readers in their loins. You know the loins, they’re connected to the loin-bone.
See more of me including promo videos at www.starspangledcomedy.com, or by attending our weekly “No-Pants Lovers of Fire-Ants” meetings.
...joke when you thought it was safe to go back in the eggplant...
A Carnival cruise ship has had a fire in the engine room and is stranded off the coast of Mexico. How Charlie Sheen got into the engine room in the first place is a mystery. OR Authorities told the passengers they will be offloaded in Ensenada. Personally I’d stay on the stranded ship. OR The ship has been without power for thirty-six hours, or roughly 8.6 million meals. Each.
Scientists have created a “Mini Big Bang” in a lab. This first porno ever directed by scientists is currently in post-production, and is expected to be ready for release in a month.
The Barack Obama “birthers” are at it again. They say that when the President deplaned in Indonesia, everyone yelled ”Norm!”
Tiger Woods is in Australia this week. The over/under is forty for number of women he gives the ol’ didgeridoo. OR The woman keeping score for Tiger Woods in the Australia Masters looked down at the boy holding the sign with the scores and wanted to make sure he understood his good fortune. “You got off easy,” said the woman “Had he been a priest you’d have been the one that had to sleep with him to get this gig.”
The Butyrka prison in central Moscow will install sunbeds to improve the health of its inmates. The bigger inmates had been complaining that they were tired of anally raping pale white prison bitches.
Not sure why the SoCal “mystery missile” is making news. Mystery missiles are fired daily in West Hollywood.
*THREE BAD...OLYMPIC EVENTS*
100 Meter Think Thank
Separate But Equal Slalom
Punching On Unicycles