Today is my birthday. Yes it is, so everyone listen up. In lieu of a joke blog, and in light of it being Oscar week, I’m pulling from my Twitter feed yesterday, a hashtag called #OscarPorn. I’ve taken the names of Best Picture winners, Best Actor winners, etc and rewritten them into adult movie titles - the trick is to do it without using curse words. Leave your best and it may be included the upcoming major motion picture about my sweatpants-on-the-couch life! (**Not Really**) You can follow me on Twitter @stephenthomas15 . Pants optional.
As always, see more of me including TV appearances, acting reel, comedy promo videos, schedule and more on my website at www.starspangledcomedy.com.
... Ah screw it, this stuff makes me giggle ...
Patton And Pettin' And Gropin' And Sweatin'.
The English Patient And The Naughty Nurses.
Gigi (Not Her Real Name).
Chariots And Pants Of Fire.
All Of Me And Part Of Rick. (My Idol Steve Martin, Best Actor 1984)
All About Eve And Her Mom And Her Hot Neighbor Kristin.
The Bridge On The River Kwai, And The Cheap Motel By The Airport.
Dances With Wolves, Fornicates With Anyone.
All The Kings Men, And Three Of His Sisters.
It Happened One Night. Seven Times.
All Quiet On The Western Front, But Really Noisy In The Rumpus Room.
Ordinary People Getting Nailed By Really Hot People While Other Ordinary People Watch.
On The Waterfront, In The Park, And Twice In The Back Of A Buick.
A Beautiful Mind And A Helluva Rack.
My Fair Lady And The Pizza Guy And Another Lady.